Red Rum
by Vorox3
Summary: Yang, tasked with infiltrating Junior's club for a solo mission, requests the help of her party friend to "dress up" to complete the mission for her. [Red Rum]


**AN:** **A hello to you all. It's been some time. But, I'm getting on my feet again! I'm writing again, even if what I'm writing is more fluffy, it's still good practice. I'm heavily revising the released chapters Left In The Dark, then I will return to progressing that story.**

 **Anyway, what I for you is today is crackfic with a new crackship. Red Rum, created by your favorite shoe, redfootblue, and I, Vorox3. We have (shamefully) created the crackship, Red Rum(named by** **zyzantylzethyrioses) or ScarletXJunior. Yeah. You read that correctly. Yup.**

 **Red Rum - Author(s): redfootblue & Vorox3 - Editor(s): zyzantylzethyrioses**

 **Disclaimer:** **RWBY is a product of Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC. All characters are owned by Rooster Teeth Productions, LLC.**

* * *

 _Red Rum_

* * *

 _This party is off the hook._ Neptune got me in with some of his "cool" connections. After dancing for a while, I noticed Yang checking her scroll. For most of the party she looked like she was having a great time, but now rather than dancing wildly, she now sat lazily on one of the many couches. I sat down next to her and saw her rubbing her temples in frustration.

"You okay, Yang?" I spoke over the beat, "Is the music too loud? You need to go outside?"

Yang shook her head. "No, it's not the music. I just got a message from school. Ruby said each member of team RWBY has an independent mission and mine is to go get information from a man named Hei Xiong at a club."

"What's so bad about that? Team SSSN can only wish we could get independent missions," I said.

"Hei Xiong knows me; old ' _acquaintance_ ' _,_ "Yang said with some air quotes.

"Acquaintance?" "Let's just say I'm not allowed in the club anymore, and even if I got in, _which I could_ , he'd never open his mouth."

"Oh, well, I can do it for you, I guess..." I shrugged. When we'd met at the tournament, we found out we were both party-goers and really hit it off. I'd begun tagging along with Sun whenever he went to see the RWBY girls, but soon enough Yang and I started going off to paint the town. Sometimes we'd come back defeated, other times drunk, and sometimes we'd wake up on the roof. So, I guess some could call us friends.

"Really, you wouldn't mind?" Yang asked me. Her eyes lit up.

"Sure, I mean it can't be _that_ hard. It's just to get info. I'm a pretty likeable guy," I said.

Yang chuckled, scratching the back of her head. "About that... You'd have to go undercover."

"That's not a problem. I'll just dress a little differently."

"As a woman..." The words slid out of her cheeky grin.

"You know, I think I might have something to do that night." I verbally retreated.

"You have something to do Sunday night?" she asked me.

"Yep, a bunch of laundry I have to do. I just won't be able to make it."

"Well that's okay. It's not time sensitive, so you can do it Monday, or Tuesday, or Wednesday, Thursday, Friday..." She leaned closer to me with each day of the week, still wearing that grin.

"I just remembered I'll be in the hospital those days."

"Uh huh. Well, I have this photo, you see." Yang held up her scroll. "Which I'm going to be posting Monday night. It's of a certain red headed boy in a dress at the dance."

" _That,_ "I shoved my finger at her, "was _a bet._ "

"Really? Well, I doubt it would matter what reason there was for him to wear the dress. Just that he was wearing it. _And_ looked damn fine in it. I'm sure the boys will just _love_ you." She wiggled her eyebrows at me.

I looked away to hide my blush. "You drive a hard bargain."

"You get me the info and I'll never show anyone the picture," Yang offered, sticking out her hand for a shake.

"I get the info and you delete the photo," I bargained.

She thought about it for a moment. "Deal. Let's go get you some pretty clothes," she announced, dragging me off the couch.

"Right now? Are there even any shops open?" I asked, my soles trying to anchor themselves in the floor.

"We strike while the iron is hot. Besides, with the kinds of clothes you're getting, those stores will most definitely be open," she winked. I gulped and followed her outside to my fate.

* * *

I gripped Yang's waist tightly as we flew down the freeway on her bike, doing my best to keep my new, unnervingly scandalous dress from riding up. After our little shopping expedition, Yang got me into the most sexy, short, bright clothes she had access to. The first outfit was a nice red dress, mid thigh length, and a pair of matching red high heels. My lips were painted a color Yang called dark wine, and my hair was dyed brunette, which I had _not_ agreed to at first. I felt awkward being so bare, but at the same time there was something exhilarating about looking so dangerous.

"Yang! Who am I supposed to find again?" I yelled over the engine.

"Hei Xiong, or Junior as most call him. He'll be behind the bar. Just go up to him. Don't get distracted, and don't let his goons get a hold of you, or they'll blow your cover," Yang said. She slowed down and came to a stop at the curb in front of the club.

"Okay, anything else?" I asked her as I stepped off the bike.

"Nope, go get 'em tiger," she said, slapping my ass and driving off.

"Eek!" I squeaked. Is this how girls feel all the time? I sighed and tugged my gloves taut against my skin; they were the kind that reached up my whole forearm, a strange new sensation to me. I strutted down the sidewalk for some last minute practice with these heels. Why did Yang have to get ones _so long_?

Walking into the club, I could immediately feel the bass pounding through my feet. There was a color changing floor and a large DJ booth - the DJ looked familiar; maybe I saw him at some party. As I made my way deeper into the club, a few of the men caught sight of me, sending wolf whistles and a few hollers at me. Looking forward, I gulped my nervousness down as I made my way to the bar. Hei Xiong was standing there wiping out a glass just like Yang said, so I walked up and sat down at the bar stool right in front of him.

"Hey there, little lady, what can I get you?" he asked me, taking off his red aviators.

This guy was an ass; I could already tell. "Can I get a-"

"How about a strawberry sunrise on the house," Hei cut me off. Yep, a real ass.

"Well, sure; thanks, but-"

"Would you like a tiny umbrella too?" He took the mixer from under the counter to prepare the beverage.

"Please. That would be nice-"

"So... What's your name?" he asked me. Would I ever get to finish a sentence?

"Red. I'm Red." There we go.

"Nice to meet you, Red. I'm Blue. Want to make purple?" he greeted, leaning over the counter.

"No, you're Junior." I steered away from _that._

"Oh, so you've heard of me? You've heard of my... _legend?_ "Junior wiggled his eyebrows and made a vague sweeping hand gesture below his waist.

Did he just...? Nope. Nope. Abort. Eject.

"You know what? I've got to go. Yep, sorry. I've got to leave. Thanks for the drink." I ran out of the club as quick as I could with the heels slowing me down. I'm sorry, Yang, but there's only so much I'll do to get information.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Yang; I couldn't get the info. He started hitting on me and I panicked," I said. We were in the library since it was supposed to be a quiet place to talk, good for this… private matter.

Yang, who was sitting across from me, dropped her jaw in astonishment. "That's it? That's your reason?"

I nodded.

"Welcome to 'Being a Woman 101', Scarlet." Yang crossed her arms. "You _are_ going to get hit on. You _are_ going to be catcalled. You _are_ going to be groped. That's just how disgusting this world is right now…"

I sat stiffly in my seat; I was scared a little. Did women _really_ have it _this_ bad? _All_ the time?

"I could tell you the stats, but I think you'd chicken out."

 _That was reassuring, Yang. Gee, Thanks._ "Okay, so what do I do this time around?"

"Live with it. You just gotta go out there and _just do it_. Be confident. It'll make them like you more, but they'll respect you. And most importantly, use that ass, girl," Yang said, patting me on the shoulder.

I guess now it's time for round two.

* * *

"So remember: Flaunt what you got. Be confident. And don't chicken out just because someone is hitting on you," Yang instructed as I was dumped off her bike. "And remember, use that ass!" She slapped my butt and sped off.

What; is that a tradition now?

I straightened out my clothes as she drove away. Instead of going with a seductive look, tonight she had me going in more of a casual party going outfit. By no means was it tame, but I felt a little more confident tonight. I was wearing tight booty shorts cut off just past mid thigh, in camouflage nonetheless, and a pair of black stilettos. Wearing the dress yesterday made it fairly easy to hide my lack of a chest, but now I couldn't: Yang had given me a white v-neck t-shirt with a red lacy bra to peek out from under it. It was to distract the guys, she told me. A long gold-chained necklace hung down in between my newly formed chest, which... _Really?_ _Did Yang really need to buy_ _ **fake breasts?**_ I mean, a man can only go so far, and this is pushing it. In addition to the shame, they also strained my back. I don't know how women do it.

I walked into the club again. There seemed to be a larger crowd than there was yesterday night. "Okay. Just… ignore everyone," _and also ignore my degrading dignity._ I walked back to the bar, wary of any men's grabby hands or lingering eyes. Junior was behind the bar again mixing drinks. I sat down in front of him, leaning in just slightly so as to flaunt "what I got", as Yang put it.

"Hey, babe." I froze as a man, obviously drunk, sat next to me and wrapped his arm around my waist. Junior stared at us.

"Can I buy you a drink?" the man asked.

"I don't think I really want one."

"You want something else?" He leaned closer. I jumped when I felt his hand latch onto my butt.

Junior slammed a menu down in between my face and the man's, startling both of us. The man's hands slipped off me. "Excuse me. I think the lady wants to be left alone," the owner said. With just a glare Junior had the guy off me, grumbling as he went.

"Sorry about that, little lady. Sometimes these men turn into boys and you have to put them in line. I'm Junior. What can I get you?"

"I'm Fuchsia. I'll have a pink passion, please."

"Coming right up. I'd offer this one on the house, but yesterday some girl got a free drink and ran out." He gestured toward the huge doors and shook his head.

"How terrible," I falsely empathized.

He handed me my drink. "Well, guess it doesn't matter; I can't even remember her name. What was it?" he thought to himself. "Ruby?"

"Red," I said. It took me a few seconds before I realized I had slipped.

"Yeah, that was it, how'd you know?" he asked. Oh shit.

"She sounded like my friend. Red always hits on the bartenders for a free drink then leaves," I said, trying _not_ to sound like I was lying.

"Hmm, well, just between you and me, you're a whole lot cuter than she was." He winked.

Okay. Calm down. Breathe. I was already freaked out by the drunkard _groping me_ and with this most recent sentence I was _very close_ to jumping ship once more.

"So are you new in town? I haven't seen you around," he said.

 _Well,_ I was technically visiting from Vacuo. "You could say that."

"How long are you here for?" Junior set his elbow on the counter. "If you're going to be here for a while, I can show you some of the nicer spots around town. Maybe even go get some dinner afterwards," he offered.

I'm sorry, Yang, but Abort Mission. Abort Mission. This is not a drill. He's asking me on a date.

"Maybe some other time. I think I'm going to head in for the night. Here's the money for the drink - keep the change. I'll tell my friend to quit flirting with the bartenders." I tossed some lien onto the counter and hopped off the stool running - I mean walking barely faster than normal because of damn stilettos - out of the club.

* * *

"Again?!" Yang threw her hands up into the air.

"I'm sorry, but he was trying to date me. _Date me._ " I told her.

Yang slapped her palm to her face. "That's when you politely give him a false phone number and tell him a date time. Then you could have just got the information from him and vanished. You missed a perfect opportunity."

"Sorry! I'm not used to having men touch me and ask me out on dates!"

"Just get used to it for one night. Just one!" She pushed a finger into my face. "Then you can be out of that man's hair for good."

"Speaking of hair, do I have to change my hair again tonight?" I asked.

"No, not if you promise to get the information this time."

I sighed and let my forehead hit the table. This would be the last time. No matter what.

"There, there, buddy." Yang patted my head.

Somebody help me.

* * *

Third time's the charm, as they say. I hope it's true. This time Yang didn't give me any motivational speech after she dropped me off, although she still slapped my ass. _Tradition._ Tonight, she must have been really desperate because she went all out. I was in a tube top. You could see my bra again. A black bra with even more lace than the last one. She put me in a pair of high top converse and black shorts. Not only did the tube top show off way too much skin, but Yang also made me rub myself in sweet smelling lotion and perfume. While my skin _is_ incredibly smooth now, I smell like the inside of a perfume store, which is nowhere near as comforting. Then she doused me in glitter. Loads of glitter on my skin, so when the lights hit me I'm flashy, she said. I could have been a fairy with the way I looked.

I took a deep breath and glanced down, past my breasts, at my hands. This was _way_ out. But it was _thrilling._ I hadn't felt an adrenaline rush like this since the tournament. I _rushed_ into the club: While the extra skin was exhilarating, I got colder _a lot_ quicker.

"Be confident. Strut my stuff," I recited Yang's words. I swayed my hips and sashayed my way through the club. All the eyes on me made me feel good. This was actually getting kind of fun, aside from the whole groping and being hit on part.

I sat down at the bar a seat away from Hei, who was behind the bar as always. Resting my arms on the table, I leaned forward and stuck out my chest, really trying to show cleavage this time. It caught his attention.

"Hello, little lady." Junior slid in front of me. I could already see the sleazy gleam in his eyes.

"Hello..." I said. I tried putting as much seduction as I could into the words, but sadly I only ended up sounding dejected.

"Something wrong? Have you had a hard week?" Junior asked. "You look like you need something strong," he decided. He slid a shot glass in front of me and poured something clear into it.

"You wouldn't be wrong…"

"Want to talk about it?" he asked.

I turned my head to look at him. He actually looked like he cared this time, which was weird.

I glanced down at my shot and then back at Junior. _Fuck it._ I lifted the glass to my lips and tilted my head back. Grimacing from the burning alcohol, I slammed the bottom of the glass on the bar counter.

"You sure you want to know?" I asked him, rubbing my forehead.

"Why not? We've all had a pretty bad week," Junior responded as he refilled my glass.

"My friends been sending me in each night to talk to someone…" I took the shot. "Ahh… It's getting tiring."

"To talk to someone? Why? Why can't she come herself and talk to the person?" He reloaded my glass.

I shrugged. "Guess she's banned or something…"

"Hmm, well," he started, pouring more alcohol into my glass, "why haven't you been able to talk to them?"

"I'm a wuss, really. That's pretty much it." Down the hatch

"Come on, how can _you_ be a wuss?" he asked, looking over me. "Especially looking like that." Another refill. Another ounce or two of hard liquor.

"That's part of the problem," I mumbled. I slid my glass back across the counter to him.

Hei raised a brow. "What?" he chuckled as yet another shot was poured.

I sighed, wavering slightly in my seat. "I'm… not exactly…" I took the shot as he set it on the table and chugged it down. "I'm not exactly a woman…"

"You might want to take it easy on those drinks."

"No," I shook my head. "I'm serious."

"You're not a woman?" He crossed his arms.

I gently ran my hands down my face. "Yeah…"

"Why are you dressed like one then?"

"I guess, if I was just some guy, you'd lose interest before I could even start talking…"

"You're after _me_?" he asked in astonishment.

"I-I… uh… Your name is Hei Xiong… right?"

"Yes."

"Then yes… I am 'after' you."

"For dust's sake. What'd you need from me so bad you had to dress up like a woman? ...Not that I fully believe you."

I sat up. "Info on some dust shipments…"

"That's all you needed? I can easily be pried for information. By almost anyone. Who was it that got you to do this anyways?"

"Yang Xiao Long." At this point I was too drunk to care.

"The cute blonde with the fists?" He shot up. His eyes hardened before softening once again. He laughed. "She's a fighter, that one. Why'd you even accept the little mission?"

I sighed. "She blackmailed me."

"She's a smart girl then if she's got enough dirt on you to do this. So how many nights did you say you came in as a woman?"

"I didn't, but it was three, including this night... The past three nights I've come in as woman. You may remember Red and Fuchsia."

"Damn; I was wondering why I kept striking out. You know, you're a pretty hot babe for a guy." I saw a wicked gleam in his eye. This wasn't going to be good.

"Thanks… I guess." I leaned back a little.

"How would you like to make a deal?"

Oh, shit. "Depends on the deal."

"Well, my business has a few dancers working here every couple days a week. If you dance for me as one of my girls, I'll give you what you want."

I wanted to wipe that grin off his stupid face. Did he just offer me a job as dancer?

"And if I don't accept the job?"

"No information for you. You'll get to come back here every night until I feel like being nice."

 _Bloody fucking hell._

"You know what? Fuck it; sure! Why not? I won't get Yang off my back if I don't, but you've got to promise me no one will know about this."

Junior pinched his fingers over his lips and slid them sideways, then flicked his hand as if tossing out a key. "Lips are sealed."

"Deal. Where's the info I need?"

"Don't worry about that. I'll send it to the blondie myself, as well as my thanks. But, I won't even brush my finger against the send button until you at least do one night here."

"Fine, fine." I was done with this.

* * *

Yang stared at me, her head propped up by her hands. A shit eating grin connected both

of her ears as she batted her eyelashes at me. I did my best to pay as little attention as possible.

"Sooooooo…. I heard you got a job~"

"Yeah."

"At the club~"

"Yes."

"As a dancer, huh?~" She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Yeah…" I mumbled, barely audible.

"As a girl~"

"Yes…"

" _No shame._ " Her grin persisted.

"Are you getting some sick enjoyment out of this?"

"Just a _little_. I'm actually just surprised you can stand being with Junior so long."

"You get uh… used to it…" I blushed.

"Aww...He's being sweet on you?"

"Y-you could… say that," I said, scratching the back of my neck.

"You love the job, don't you?"

I didn't answer.

"You like him, don't you?"

"Okay, Yang! Time for me to go!" I hopped out of my seat.

" _Hey! You never_ _ **answered that!"**_

 _ **"BYE YANG!"**_

I hoped that would be the last audible bit of the conversation, but I was wrong. As I ran toward the door, I heard...

 _ **"Running off to Hei for some Red Rum? Don't worry, Scar; I ship that!"**_

* * *

 _ **Forgive me father for I have sinned.**_

 _ **Love,**_

 _ **~Vox**_


End file.
